SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS and DEFINITION OF RELATIONSHIP TERMS

SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS
In a healthy relationship, both partners are able to express their feelings and respect each other's boundaries about sex. You shouldn’t have to have sex to keep your boyfriend or girlfriend. You may feel comfortable kissing or holding hands but not want to go any further. That’s ok.
Deciding whether you want to have sex or when you should is a decision you should make when it feels right for YOU. In a healthy relationship, your boyfriend or girlfriend respects your decisions -- even when they don't like them.
If you are thinking about when to have sex, keep in mind:

• You should feel comfortable with your decision.
• Talk with your partner about safe sex practices, like getting tested for STIs and considering birth control options.
• Be honest with yourself and your partner. If you’re not ready, that’s ok and your partner should respect it.
• If something scares you or makes you feel uncomfortable, you can say no at any time.
• You have the right to talk openly and honestly about your fears, worries and feelings.
• If your partner tries to threaten or pressure you into having sex, it can be a sign of an unhealthy relationship. You deserve better. 
• No matter how long you’ve been with someone or how many times you’ve done something, you have the right to say no at anytime for any reason.
• If someone won't take no for an answer and repeatedly pressures you verbally, emotionally or physically it can be a sign of abuse. 
• You have control over your body, and no one else has the right to tell you what to do with it.

DEFINITION OF RELATIONSHIP TERMS
Dating: A form of romantic courtship typically between two individuals with the aim of assessing the other's suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse, The result of dating may at any time lead to friendship, any level of intimate relationship, marriage, or no relation.

Casual Relationship: Casual dating or a casual relationship is a physical and emotional relationship between two people who may have casual sex or a near-sexual relationship without necessarily demanding or expecting the extra commitments of a more formal romantic relationship.

Long Term Relationship: This is a common, contemporary term for intimate interpersonal relationships that may be lifelong and may or may not consist in marriage. Long term relationships are considered the opposite of casual relationships, which tend to be short in duration. The notation "LTR" is used to designate "long term relationship" in "personals" advertisements. When a long term relationship that is neither a marriage nor a civil union ends and both partners have a financial interest in the relationship, a suit for palimony may be filed by one or both of the partners. This is especially the case when one of the partners is wealthy or a Gaylord.

Multiple Serial Partners or Concurrent Sexual Partnerships:  Multiple sexual partnerships are defined as having more than one sexual partner over a period of time. These can be either serial partners (one after the other), or concurrent partners (different sexual partners that overlap in time, often referred to as MCP). Multiple sexual partnerships have been identified as a likely driver of the spread of HIV in countries with a generalized epidemic. All of these relationships are connected by a “sexual network,” which refers to anyone linked through a sexual relationship, past or present; every partner one has ever had, and all of their past and present partners. Within a large sexual network, HIV is spread more quickly and entire communities can be affected. Further research points to the combination of sexual networks and low rates of male circumcision as an explanation for the epidemic where transmission is primarily heterosexual, as in most of Africa.

QUESTIONS TO REFLECT ON and comment:

1. What makes dating difficult or easy for you?
2. What are some risk involved in casual sex?
3. What is the link between casual sex and HIV/STI transmission?
4. What terms do you use when defining/labeling your relationship?
5. Are women more likely to have an open relationship when in a Long Term Relationship? How does this relate to HIV and STI risk?

SEXUAL ORIENTATION, GENDER IDENTITY AND HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

SEXUAL ORIENTATION
Sexual Orientation a person's sexual identity in relation. Sexual orientation is an enduring pattern of romantic or sexual attraction (or a combination of these) to persons of the opposite sex or gender, the same sex or gender, or to both sexes or more than one gender. These attractions are generally subsumed under heterosexuality, homosexuality, and bisexuality, while asexuality (the lack of sexual attraction to others) is sometimes identified as the fourth category. These categories are aspects of the more nuanced nature of sexual identity. For example, people may use other labels, such as pansexual or polysexual, or none at all. According to the American Psychological Association, sexual orientation "also refers to a person's sense of identity based on those attractions, related behaviours, and membership in a community of others who share those attractions". to the gender to which they are attracted; the fact of being heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual.

GENDER IDENTITY
Gender identity is a person's private sense, and subjective experience, of their own gender. This is generally described as one's private sense of being a man or a woman, consisting primarily of the acceptance of membership into a category of people: male or female. All societies have a set of gender categories that can serve as the basis of the formation of a social identity in relation to other members of society. In most societies, there is a basic division between gender attributes assigned to males and females. In all societies, however, some individuals do not identify with some (or all) of the aspects of gender that are assigned to their biological sex.

HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP tips
Communication is a key part to building a healthy relationship. The first step is making sure you both want and expect the same things -- being on the same page is very important. The following tips can help you create and maintain a healthy relationship:

• Speak Up. In a healthy relationship, if something is bothering you, it’s best to talk about it instead of holding it in.
• Respect Your Partner. Your partner's wishes and feelings have value. Let your significant other know you are making an effort to keep their ideas in mind. Mutual respect is essential in maintaining healthy relationships.
• Compromise. Disagreements are a natural part of healthy relationships, but it’s important that you find a way to compromise if you disagree on something. Try to solve conflicts in a fair and rational way.
• Be Supportive. Offer reassurance and encouragement to your partner. Also, let your partner know when you need their support. Healthy relationships are about building each other up, not putting each other down.
• Respect Each Other’s Privacy. Just because you’re in a relationship, doesn’t mean you have to share everything and constantly be together. Healthy relationships require space.

Healthy Boundaries

Creating boundaries is a good way to keep your relationship healthy and secure. By setting boundaries together, you can both have a deeper understanding of the type of relationship that you and your partner want. Boundaries are not meant to make you feel trapped or like you’re “walking on eggshells. Creating boundaries is not a sign of secrecy or distrust; it's an expression of what makes you feel comfortable and what you would like or not like to happen within the relationship.
Remember, healthy boundaries shouldn’t restrict your ability to:

• Go out with your friends without your partner.
• Participate in activities and hobbies you like.
• Not have to share passwords to your email, social media accounts or phone.
• Respect each other’s individual likes and needs.

Healthy Relationship Boosters

Even healthy relationships can use a boost now and then. You may need a boost if you feel disconnected from your partner or like the relationship has gotten stale. If so, find a fun, simple activity you both enjoy, like going on a walk, and talk about the reasons why you want to be in the relationship. Then, keep using healthy behaviors as you continue dating.
If you’re single (and especially if you’re a single parent), don’t worry if you need a boost too! Being single can be the best and worst feeling, but remember relationships don’t just include your significant other and you. Think about all the great times you’ve had with your parents, siblings, friends, children, other family members, etc..
Try going out with the people you love and care about the most -- watch movies together, go out to eat, take a day off from your busy life and just enjoy being you! If it helps, also talk about your feelings about the relationships in your life. If you just want them to listen, start by telling them that. Then ask what makes relationships good and what makes them bad? Along the way, if you need advice, feel free to contact us. We’re here to help 24/7.
And don’t forget, the relationship you can always boost up is the one you have with yourself!

What Isn't a Healthy Relationship?

Relationships that are not healthy are based on power and control, not equality and respect. In the early stages of an abusive relationship, you may not think the unhealthy behaviors are a big deal. However, possessiveness, insults, jealous accusations, yelling, humiliation, pulling hair, pushing or other negative, abusive behaviors, are -- at their root -- exertions of power and control. Remember that abuse is always a choice and you deserve to be respected. There is no excuse for abuse of any kind.
If you think your relationship is unhealthy, it's important to think about your safety now. Consider these points as you move forward:

• Understand that a person can only change if they want to. You can't force your partner to alter their behavior if they don't believe they're wrong.
• Focus on your own needs. Are you taking care of yourself? Your wellness is always important. Watch your stress levels, take time to be with friends, get enough sleep. If you find that your relationship is draining you, consider ending it.
• Connect with your support systems. Often, abusers try to isolate their partners. Talk to your friends, family members, teachers and others to make sure you're getting the emotional support you need. Remember, our advocates are always ready to talk if you need a listening ear.
• Think about breaking up. Remember that you deserve to feel safe and accepted in your relationship.

Even though you cannot change your partner, you can make changes in your own life to stay safe. Consider leaving your partner before the abuse gets worse. Whether you decide to leave or stay, make sure to use our safety planning tips to stay safe. Remember, you have many options -- including obtaining a domestic violence restraining order. Laws vary from state to state so chat with a peer advocate to learn more.